Monday, November 10, 2008

The Beautiful Truth...

It was a cold night…3am…

I can see my friends around…all f’em sittin on the bed in a circular manner…she was sitting next to me, lookin amazingly beautiful…I always felt proud whenever she talks only to me or sits next to me when there are poeple around…my mind’l b like ” Ha! shez more close to me than to u all..Bad luck people!Shez jus mine..”..mad..The night was fun…didnt notice how time was going at all…we laughed..listened..teased…and at last when everyone got tired, one f us, i dont remember who, started asking questions to others concernin their personal lives…Everyone seemed to somehow enjoy it as its always a good timepass to listen either to a person’s griefs or his life’s personal matters which is masked to the world…All of us joined in and started doing the same to random people around..It was slow n smooth..all answers were listened with utmost interest..and all answers wer truthfully spoken with filled emotion…Maybe its the time..or was it the mood i dont know..

The question hit me like a bolt! I jumped : “Excuse me?” ..

“God..” ..he replied lazily..”I asked what is your opinion about HER?What’s she to you..tel us..”..Suddenly the whole room became silent..i felt like everyone wanted to ask this question to me since long..but never did..Girls removed mufflers from their ears n boys straightened their legs..what was al this? getting ready for the answer?

But…what is she to me…I have never given this a thought earlier…I always loved loving her more n more but never..never did i think f a reason for it…What should i say? Or..how much should i say? U know i always found these romantic dialogues like” i dnt knw where to start..where to end” etc as dumbest of things..but at that moment..Where the hell would i start? neither is she my girlfriend nor m i gna propose her..then y am i thinkin dis much n y confused?..I looked to my left where she sat…i saw her eyes..yes, even she was expecting..She looked like a baby..a total sweetheart..our eyes locked…And then i spoke..

I dnt remember what i spoke and when did i finish…but felt so good after that..others continued the game asking silly things to other people..laughin around..but i was not in a mood to laugh..i felt myself alleviated to a different level…a nice smooth one…

“psst..psst…” she was calin me..

“Ya..?”

“I’m sorry…”

“Sorry? for what sweetheart?” God i felt like hugging her..

“For the last few days…the way i was behaving with u…u know i was frustrated right? I told u na,the whole ambience around here is driving me nuts..”, and she looked at me with such a cute face filled with guilt,expecting forgiveness…God…she is the cutest..

I smiled…i pulled her close to me n kissed her forehead..She gave me back the most beautiful smile ive ever seen in my life..

Others were still not done with their games n jokes..She was lying down with her head on my lap..my legs stretched..i sat leaning on the wall with one hand on the bed and the other brushin her hair..her hand on bed caught mine…our fingers crossed..n that time, a cold stream f somethin flowed with full pressure inside me…it was so so beautiful…like..ice cold water slitherin through red hot rock…painful, yet beautiful…Oh, i would do anything for her…anything!

She suddenly turned her head towards me n asked…”Did u ever lie to me?”…I looked at her face with all the love i have in this world n said ” I can’t..even if i wish to…” ..n that was the ultimate truth which is…beautiful…

Words...

Words..words r really wonderful right?A good combination of’em can even take someone’s heart away..or even break it..or even mend thngs..though v forget most of the combination of words v hear, some remain really long..v treasure some, fear some, and even fight some..howmuchever close u r to someone, a really bad combination of words from that person to you can shatter the whole thing..U may start moving away for their sake..Some words, u regret u shudnt’ve said..some combination of words are not meant to be said..U need to be really mature to know which,else u mite even get the worst blow of ur life..sometimes u r out of words..that’s wen u reach extremes of ur emotions..same words when framed in different ways can give different outputs..isn’t that amazing?Words make u think..words make u laugh..words make u cry..I know ‘words’ is not a good angle to analyse situations but..its only words..n words are all i have..to take ur..er..time away.. ;)

The Adventurous Delhi Trip...

I never decided on a fixed date to go to delhi since i came bac to bhopal coz f al dis hostel admission shit n also, coz f some secret trips i made after cmin bac.. ;) ..so at last on a saturday, 12th f july’08 i decided to go on 13th as that was the only convenient date.. As my dad doesn own indian railway, i naturally didn get ticket for the upward journey but got a confirmed return ticket.. I checked up internet n found that there are about 8 trains from Bhopal to delhi between 7′o’clock n 10′o’clock..so i took a general ticket with hopes f convertin it 2 sleeper..Deepak was dere wid me to see me off..bloody v tried all d trains n none f’em had n empty seat..i even killed my grandfather n almost made my cousin sister giv birth to a baby while tryin out ways with ttr..

So at last, wen d last train’s ttr also turned his back 2wrds us, i jumped into d sleeper wen the train started movin..i jus had a backpack so i told deepak i’l try 4 a sleeper from jhansi n better go in general itself till there..i didn hav a seat(i still dont understand y did i even expect to get 1)..i sat in d corner with my back on d door..had a granny sittin nxt to me..she was fun..v had some fun commentin about people sittin inside until i slept off coz f tiredness..i jus started droopin when suddenly somebody jus shouted on my ear ” UTTHO!!!!” I jumped to my feet n asked “KYA HUA??” to hear him shout back “JHANSI AA GAYI!!” n i dnt know y i asked bac “THO??“..he lookd impatient when he screamed “HAME UTARNA HAI!!!“..”Oh..“..thaz wen i came to my senses to realise jhansi was a station n people travel in trains to get down at stations..When people started gettin down, i saw n empty seat n thanking my dad inside 4 takin me for all those superhero movies, i did a cool dive n did a perfect placing f my ass on that seat..at first, i actually didnt get y that guy was starin at me as if i ate his cake..n then, very impatiently he explained dat he didn expect anyone to sit on his seat wen he jus got up to pick his polythene..to avoid physical damage, i got up but by then all seats wer filled..then i saw a void space(sorry 4 technical word usage..) in between two side seats..i sat there..not even 20 minutes had passed when the guy sittin on one f those side seats told me in hindi this:”Listen, when you wer sittin i had my legs placed towards the bottom part f my seat.now i feel like stretching my legs, so can u go n sit somewhere else?” guts f him..ass!!!i dunno whoch grandmom f his told him dat general compartment is a place where people tie hammocks n relax..I very patiently(i swear) made him understand dat its not jus me whoz sittin like dis n many humans share d same bloody fate f mine in d same compartment so he should better relax.N here comes the million dollar question f d day 4m him mouth”So..what are you sayin? i made a mistake by letting you sit?telme..“..as if im sittin on his lap..im on d floor u moron!!But i didn say anything..i gave him a look n turned my face away..He bloody had d guts to ask dat again louder to me..even this time i ignored..iwas already frustrated to d core..n when he asked 4 the thrid time, i placed my hand over his thighs as a sympathetic gesture n with such a tone, i said” Yaar…bad luck!!!…i knw its hard to take in but next time be careful before givin space to anyone ok??” People sittin next to me giggled..n im sure dis guy didn xpect dis n he was expectedly taken aback!!

Train was moving n now he started taking his revenge by kickin me..first time he kicked, i didn say nethng..2nd time i looked at him n said”:Listen, im no toy..so u better stop kickin“..u can only imagine wat kind f frustration iwas feelin n on top f dat, iwas sweating n dere dere was no space to even place a needle..n wen i was goin through all dis frustration inside dis moron kicks me AGAIN…my blood was already boiling rage rushed inside me..i stood n caught his collar…i dnt exactly remember wat happened next..nobody slapped me fought me r anything..iwas on d air..so many people wer holdin me on deir shoulders i think..n iwas movin..next second i saw myself thrown out f general compartment..God that was d time wen i realised people takin u on deir shoulders can have a 2nd meaning..must have been that moron’s friends..lucky i jus had a backpack, else my luggage wud’ve reached delhi without me..n as soon as i was thrown out the train started movin..my mind took a little time to register the situation n as soon as i did, i ran n jumped into a sleeper compartment..saw one guy sittin near d door so i asked “general?” he was like”No, waiting“..hearin dat i relaxed my muscle n told him”Im general“..he smiled..wen d train reachd agra, i went to the ttr n frustratingly asked for a seat again n he was like “chanceless..the trainz full“..Then i decided..bloody man, i’l better get on a bus n travel to delhi..that wud b a lot better than travellin in d train again..n i did dat…n bus journey was heavenly..had good greenery around too ..(if you knw wat i mean..) ;)

There ended my adventurous trip to delhi..while i boarded d train while returnin, i felt sooo damn proud f my berth..felt like huggin n kissin it… ;)